The Many Faces of Grief: How We Mourn What We Lose

Photo by Devon Divine on Unsplash

Grief Isn’t Just for Death: Understanding Loss in All Its Forms
When we hear the word grief, many of us instinctively think of bereavement - the painful loss of a loved one through death. But grief is so much broader. It is a natural response to any significant loss, and in our ever-changing world, these losses extend far beyond death.
What can we grieve?
Grief can emerge from the loss of friendships, the end of routines, or the disbanding of groups and communities that once brought connection and joy. It can come from losing a sense of peace, direction, or identity - when we no longer feel certain about who we are, what we believe, or where we are headed.
Transitions in life - such as changes in body shape, hormonal shifts, or the fading of once-held dreams - can all trigger grief. These are often referred to as non-death losses, and research shows they can impact our well-being just as profoundly as bereavement. The New Grief
The hidden grief of modern life
In today’s climate - marked by social upheaval, economic uncertainty, and shifting norms - feelings of loss are widespread. People grapple with the loss of security in their judgments, the erosion of long-held beliefs, or the disappearance of societal structures that once felt stable. These forms of loss can evoke classic grief reactions such as denial, avoidance, anger, or emotional outbursts (Harvard Health - Mind and Mood).
Restorative practice and compassionate connection
As someone working in restorative practices, I see daily how these grief responses stem from profound feelings of threat and uncertainty. The ability to compassionately connect with individuals’ grief - to hold space for their pain, validate their experiences, and guide them toward understanding - is a crucial skill. Restorative approaches emphasize empathy, active listening, and co-creating safe environments where people can process their loss and begin to heal (What is restorative justice?)
Why this matters
Recognizing that grief isn’t limited to death allows us to respond more thoughtfully to others and ourselves. Whether it’s ambiguous loss (loss without closure, like a missing person or estranged relationship) or disenfranchised grief (grief not socially acknowledged, such as after a divorce or job loss), understanding the full spectrum of loss helps build more resilient, compassionate communities.

​LJ Sayers is a restorative practitioner, trainer and consultant, living in Northern Ireland.  She is a wife to JP (her rock), a mum to J (her reason and purpose), a Covid Redundant Hugger, Storyteller and Chief Quality Controller of all chocolate in her household.