 Photo by - Roman Odintsov on Pexels Dr. Marc Brackett, founder of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, made a sobering discovery: most adults he spoke with could only name three emotions. Just three. That’s a little depressing, isn’t it?
And it gets worse. While sharing a coffee with my colleague Howard, he shared his own observation. In his work with kids across Northern Ireland, those three emotions often get boiled down even further to just two: “Sweet” (local translation: good) “Sh1te” (local translation: not so good) So why does this matter? Why is emotional intelligence - the ability to recognise and describe emotions in ourselves and others - so vital? Let’s explore five powerful reasons highlighted by Dr. Brackett, that shows just how essential emotional skills are in today’s world. 1) Emotions Affect Our Ability to Pay Attention If you’re feeling anxious, bored, afraid, or agitated, concentrating is tough. Picture trying to follow a lesson on Pythagoras’ Theorem while your mind is full of worry - almost impossible! Neuroscience research such as reported in the Journal of Cognitive Psychology confirms that emotions directly impact executive functions like focus, working memory, and self-regulation. Emotional awareness can sharpen attention and help us stay present, whether we’re in the classroom, at work, or navigating daily life. 2) Emotions Shape Our Decision Making Good mood? You’re more optimistic, solution-focused, and open to positive risk-taking. Bad mood? You’re more problem-focused, risk-averse, and likely to see obstacles rather than opportunities. Our mood becomes the lens through which we assess choices. Psychologists World reports, emotional states influence judgments, from everyday decisions to life-changing ones. 3) Emotions Strengthen (or Strain) Our Relationships Our micro-expressions and tone send constant signals - inviting connection or pushing others away. Emotional intelligence helps us form supportive, healthy relationships, which are key to resilience and well-being. As the Greater Good Science Center highlights, emotional skills like empathy foster social bonds and reduce conflict. 4) Emotions Impact Our Physical and Mental Health Ever met a “mood hoover”? Someone who seems to suck the energy out of a room? The emotional climate we create affects anxiety, stress levels, and even physical health. Aim to be a good feelings radiator - someone who uplifts and energises. The Science of People explain how emotional contagion is real: how we mirror others and moods spread through groups like wildfire. 5) Emotions Influence Our Performance and Creativity Today’s employers prize flexibility, innovation, and teamwork - all of which thrive in emotionally intelligent individuals. As Marc Brackett puts it: “Even if you didn’t need emotional intelligence to get into your ideal school - you will need it to get out!” Forbes in their article reinforces this: how emotional intelligence drives leadership, collaboration, and creative problem-solving, leading to increased engagement, and employee wellbeing. Emotional intelligence isn’t a “nice to have.” It’s a must-have for success in school, work, and life. The good news? Emotional intelligence can be developed at any age. Through mindful practice, reflection, and tools like emotion journals or the Yale Center’s RULER approach, we can all grow this essential skill. LJ Sayers is a restorative practitioner, trainer, and consultant based in Northern Ireland. Partner to JP, mum to J, Covid-redundant hugger, and Chief Quality Controller of all chocolate in her household.
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